They get along well for a while as the relationship deepens, then... one night after he's had a long day at work, she starts talking and out of nowhere, he has a temper tantrum. Later the tantrum becomes physical. This starts to become a pattern. The good times are still there but there are very bad times as well. But why? Why did she attract another abusive man? On the surface he seemed like anything but a man who would strike a woman, yet here she is in another abusive relationship.
An alcoholic man (or woman) has just been on a binge that has stretched into several days. He's sick, depressed, out of money, and his family is heartbroken. He only went out for a couple of drinks one day when he was particularly stressed out. But, once he started drinking he couldn't stop. He's been through this same scenario many times. "I'll only have a couple this time." Yet, every time he goes out for just one or two drinks, he winds up on a disastrous binge that leaves destruction of all kinds in its wake. But why? Why can't he just quit after a couple of drinks?
A housewife goes out shopping, with one thing to buy in mind. She needs a new dress for an upcoming dinner, She strolls down the mall looking at all the dresses in shop windows, but that's not all she likes. She sees purses, jewelry, shoes, hats, and accessories of all kinds. She decides she has to have a new hat, a new coat, a new pair of shoes, some nice new jewelry, on top of the two new dresses she bought, in case she didn't like the first choice. Our housewife, who is a dedicated, loving wife and mom, just spent a thousand bucks when she set out to spend maybe a hundred.
Her husband looks in disbelief at the receipt and the items she bought, asking her why she needed all these things and how was he going to pay for it? The real problem is this is not an isolated incident. This has happened many times before. Our housewife, once she gets a credit card in hand and get out in the stores, cannot control her spending. But why is this?
In all these cases, and in countless others like them, somewhere along the way a pattern was established in the subconscious of these people, and once something is established in our unconscious mind, it will come to pass, no matter what our conscious resolve.
Will power is no match for what is established in the subconscious. The only way to change the pattern is a complete reprogramming of the subconscious. This doesn't happen (normally) in a hypnosis session or a religious revival or by getting on our knees and begging that the problem be taken away, or the pattern reversed. The good news is change, real change, can happen when we understand the inner workings of the mind. Understanding, however, isn't enough. We must take concrete action based on this knowledge we have.
Alcoholics Anonymous and other similar twelve step programs have a great formula for reprogramming the mind, but what they stress is one must believe "in a power greater than ourselves." The founders of A.A. were friends and followers of Emmet Fox and a few other high minded people who knew how the mind, and this "power greater than ourselves" worked.
First, you admit you have no control over whatever the situation is. Nest you believe that there is an answer if you will just believe in a Higher Power, and then you turn your life over to the care of "God as you understand Him." Then come a series of action steps to make amends for wrongs committed while in the old way of life, and finally maintenance steps to ensure the person stays on track,grows, and eventually shares his/her knowledge and change in their lives with others having the same problems.
Many of the patterns we establish in our subconscious minds are made through no fault of our own. Most times we have no idea a pattern is being established. Once this pattern is dominant, if it's a negative pattern, belief in a "Higher Power" is essential to recovery. The natural inclination of the subconscious, and likewise the nature of God, is always upward, always wanting and preserving life in it's truest form. God's nature is health, harmony, abundance, expression, growth, faith and, above all, love.
Man, the Bible says, was made in God's image. Therefore, the natural aim of the subconscious is the same as the nature of God. However, the subconscious is much like a garden. If we plant the right things, they will grow and flourish. If we plant weeds, we get weeds. At some point we have to dig out the weeds and start planting the right things, and, with nourishment, the newly planted seeds will grow into a beautiful landscape.
There are a number of ways to do this. Meditation, affirmations, scientific prayer, participation in a twelve step program, and saturating our minds with inspired writings by people who express the Truth. What Ernest Homes said is basically the same thing Joel Osteen says today. What Emmet Fox said is basically the same thing Wayne Dyer says today. Much of what Jesus taught is the same thing Joseph Murphy, Napoleon Hill, and Louise Hay have been teaching over the years. There is only one God.
One Creator of all things, one Universal Source. Whatever you call God, there in only One and He (It) is the same everywhere. What heals you is the same power that healed the blind man Jesus encountered. Jesus taught the truth about God and told his followers that they could do all he did, and more. He taught that according to your faith it is done to you. Simple, universal truths. We all have that power within us, waiting for us to take action.
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